On having a running partner.....

Something happens when you run side by side with a friend or running partner. I'm not sure how to explain it, but there is a bond that forms over time that is both deep and special. When you're next to another person, moving along side by side-- you hear things. You know when they're struggling, when they're tired, when they're hungover, happy, excited, energetic. It's easy to tell if they've had a fight with their husband or a bad morning with their kids. There is a feeling of knowing another human being that I think is unusual. And, in so many ways it's also like a marriage. It's a partnership that has to work to 'work'. You just can't have a running partner that surges ahead of you or leaves you on mile 11 of an 18 miler, it's not that fun to run with someone uber competitive, you can't really enjoy a run with someone that's silent (at least I can't), it's tough to run with someone much slower, and you need to sort of like each other......it's a lot like dating finding a good partner to run with.

One of my most special blessings when it comes to training is that I have had three awesome running partners.....my first was when I was living in the city. We met because we were both running our very first full marathon-- the 2006 NYC Marathon. We were part of a small charity team that provided group runs and some training sessions. During our first time running together, we fell in step together and started talking. It was the beginning of a super deep, very special friendship. You spend so many hours together that eventually your real self comes out-- the person that loves dirty bars and day drinking has lots of good stories (me)! Your stories and your feelings and secret wishes and goals, they pretty much tumble out when you have three hours on the road running together. We no longer live in the same city, but the feeling of 'knowing' her so well hasn't changed at all. In truth, the distance between us, the babies we have had, the races we have trained for and run separately have all sort of strengthened our bond. In 2007 I had a miscarriage that was so hard and sad and terrible for me, the first friend that really reached out and acknowledged that maybe it was time for me to get off the couch, it was my running partner. She just really knows the real me and in a life that is so crazy and hectic and sometimes petty, it feels so lucky to have a friend that can see you.

DInner before NYC '06

Living in Connecticut now, I am a part of a running team that I love. The team means so much to me. These women are the most understanding, supportive, strong bad ass ladies that I could imagine (more on the team at another time). In this group I have found two more women to train with and I just adore them both. When I found out about my stress fracture a few weeks ago I was devastated. Maybe I wasn't so sad to miss the road trip to New Jersey for the marathon, but in my heart I was so sad to miss the race with my incredible running partner.

Both of my CT running partners are pretty fucking special. These women are hilarious, disgusting, and fast. They make me smile just by showing up. We don't always run as a threesome, but in my time logging miles with these ladies I can say that they are both awesome. My first running partner trained with me right up to several half-marathons and a full in Savannah. This girl isn't really just my training partner, she's one of my best friends. She is hilarious- she hits the road with some good stories and she never quits. She will rally through the worst hangovers, stomach issues, babysitting problems....

Just icing my ass....

my second running partner only knows me because she beat me at a local 5k. This girl came out of nowhere! It was a moment that showed the world that I might be the hometown Mary Decker, but it was also the beginning of a great story. I love this woman. Training with her has made me a better runner- she is consistent and strong and a little powerhouse. Missing our race in Jersey next week makes me feel terrible, but mostly because I just love running with this gal.

I miss running with this lady!

I think women are incredible. I am a serious 'girls girl', even though my house is full of testosterone, I am straight up Girl Power 24/7, but I think women are weak at supporting each other. I think there's a lot of bored moms in the suburbs and some women seem to need to tear each other down, to really get on up. A bond that starts with a passion-- the friendship that develops when you're both passionate about a hobby, is very real. It goes beyond gossip and carpools, it's more important than a lunch buddy or a drinking partner. It means too much because there's a common goal. I think this is where we find our true friends. We find these women to build up and empower because we share something we love. I don't know if it's knitting or reading, wine drinking or cooking-- but I wish for all my friends and all the women I know, I wish these kinds of friendships for them and I wish them this kind of passion too.

A Love Letter

It's been roughly 4 weeks since I learned that I have a stress fracture in my hip. It is driving me crazy. it is making me insane, and I am pretty sure I am driving every person around me crazy too! Let's see how many times I can write the word 'crazy' to make it clear! 

I think the stress fracture developed from some overtraining and a slip I took on some ice. Either way, it was a slow progression from an achy hip to a full-throttle limping around, painful, highly dramatic injury. This winter I started training with a new running partner, we like to call her Jim (long story for another day) and it has been a true love affair for me. I love love love running with this woman. We get along, we run in a very comfortable way, and it's a relationship I feel like I've had for years. Like any truly special relationship, it is so easy- it just works. I complained about my hip a lot and we would refer to my irritated hip as Granny Hip, but I didn't want to skip days or miss long training runs so I pushed and I pushed and I made sure I did some damage (picture the little engine thinking he can, thinking he can, but actually breaking down. There, now you have the proper visual). We ran the NYC Half-Marathon on March 15 and I found out about my fracture with an MRI on March 16. Our goal had been to run the New Jersey Full-Marathon in April and qualify for Boston.

Happy! Don't I look super
happy here?!

What kind of shitty love letter is this? It's one about running I tell you!! Here comes the romance.....

I miss my running so much that today when I was in the pool aqua jogging I had a revelation or maybe it should be called an epiphany!! Today's epiphany coincided with me getting a waterproof shuffle so instead of driving the lifeguard crazy trying to talk to him, I got to water jog to some maroon 5 and kesha! Who knows what other amazing and crazy revelations I will have now?! I can honestly say that if I can get back on my feet and on the road again, I will appreciate the running for what it is. It's not about the big race day or the Boston Qualifier (although that would be super nice, just sayin'), it's about the day-to-day running and training. It's about the feeling of satisfaction that comes from your hard work outside on the road or a nasty treadmill workout. It's about seeing your running partner and setting out for 3-4 hours of running together side by side....it is that feeling you get when someone refers to you as a 'runner' and not just as someone's wife or mom. It's that feeling you get when your son asks you how you can run so far and for so long....are you wonder woman? It is the sun in your eyes, the salty taste on your skin in the summer and it is the frozen thighs, numb fingers in the winter. It is knowing your body is working so hard on this earth and feeling one with it. And it is the feeling of eating cake and dessert because you can, because you earned it. I miss it so much.  

The word of the day: Epiphany

As part of my 'epiphany' this morning I also learned something else, I think to be a truly good athlete, you need patience and me before Granny Hips didn't have much patience. I would read training books and log my miles, I would follow some directions, but not all. I ignored rules about distance- often pushing for more miles when I didn't need them. I would ignore my body- push push push it! And I love routine and schedules so much, that I refused to alter my training program. But, if I had trained with some patience, taken some advice, and maybe-- maybe, cross-trained smarter, I might be heading to Jersey with Jim. 

One thing I know for sure about life is that you can't have the good times without the bad. I mean it, you simply cannot have the special, incredible, take your breath away moment without the heartbreaking, painful, terrible one to keep it real. Life is all about balance.....being merry and happy comes with being a little cranky and mad. There it is, the yin and yang to it. Today's epiphany brought to you today by apples waterproof shuffle and Adam Levine!

Dear Running, 

I miss you! I can't wait to be back together in June. Please write me back soon.

Love, Granny Hip

Disclaimer.

So this is my third or fourth try at blogging and I'm not even sure what my angle is here. I don't know if my goal is for anyone to read this or for everyone to read this, but I'm 4 weeks into learning that I have a stress fracture in my hip and I have a lot of time suddenly and a lot of words sort of stuck in my head and bouncing around....even worse, I have all these ideas that I can't work out on the road running. So here it is. Maybe the 4th time will be a charm and this blog will stick and work and give me a place for all these words and thoughts and feelings and ideas to shake out and into something.

This is a blog about a lot of things so that is why I feel compelled to march in here and start out with a bossy disclaimer. Hopefully this blog is about everything and nothing and all the little things that add up to the big. My true passions in life are my family and friends, running and training, and sometimes baking and shopping. My best guess is that this little blog of mine revolves around those topics with some heavy running obsessing. I am not a coach or professional athlete, although I sometimes confuse myself with an aspiring olympian. I am a regular mom and person trying my best. I'm writing this blog to honor these things in my life-- to reflect on them, and hopefully to become a better writer and person.

While we're talking about writing and word choice, I'm going to put this out there on day one. In my past life I was an English teacher, but there are going to be times when I'm writing this blog, feeding my three kids, fighting with my husband about my credit card bill, and watching my real housewives so please bear with me if you notice any spelling or grammatical errors. And, there is no way I can keep a blog that is swear-word free-- this is not a blog for your kids. It's a blog for you and me, my friend. I need a little oomph sometimes and the way I make that happen is with my all time favorite curse words. I'll take the sting away right now and rip the band-aid off: my favorite swear words are fuck, bitch, and asshole. I like to toss these around when I make a mistake in the kitchen, a mistake in my life, or when I'm talking about someone or something I have strong feelings about (like my fucking stress fracture). I'm so sorry if this is offensive to you-- the beauty of a blog is that you can snap this inappropriateness off right now and never come back. But sometimes an exclamation point just isn't enough for me. Last night I made these butter cookies and honestly they were a real fucking pain in the ass. If I told you they were tricky with an exclamation point, you might think I was being cute, but telling you the truth right off the bat might save you a lot of time and energy.

So that's it. I am so grateful that you are here now and even reading this. I'm not sure where this blog will take me and maybe it will all boil down to just a training log and recipe collection, but deep down, I hope it's something more. I truly hope that it's a real place for me to learn and grow and share. Merry everything and happy always to you, my friends.

Love, Jenn