On having a running partner.....

Something happens when you run side by side with a friend or running partner. I'm not sure how to explain it, but there is a bond that forms over time that is both deep and special. When you're next to another person, moving along side by side-- you hear things. You know when they're struggling, when they're tired, when they're hungover, happy, excited, energetic. It's easy to tell if they've had a fight with their husband or a bad morning with their kids. There is a feeling of knowing another human being that I think is unusual. And, in so many ways it's also like a marriage. It's a partnership that has to work to 'work'. You just can't have a running partner that surges ahead of you or leaves you on mile 11 of an 18 miler, it's not that fun to run with someone uber competitive, you can't really enjoy a run with someone that's silent (at least I can't), it's tough to run with someone much slower, and you need to sort of like each other......it's a lot like dating finding a good partner to run with.

One of my most special blessings when it comes to training is that I have had three awesome running partners.....my first was when I was living in the city. We met because we were both running our very first full marathon-- the 2006 NYC Marathon. We were part of a small charity team that provided group runs and some training sessions. During our first time running together, we fell in step together and started talking. It was the beginning of a super deep, very special friendship. You spend so many hours together that eventually your real self comes out-- the person that loves dirty bars and day drinking has lots of good stories (me)! Your stories and your feelings and secret wishes and goals, they pretty much tumble out when you have three hours on the road running together. We no longer live in the same city, but the feeling of 'knowing' her so well hasn't changed at all. In truth, the distance between us, the babies we have had, the races we have trained for and run separately have all sort of strengthened our bond. In 2007 I had a miscarriage that was so hard and sad and terrible for me, the first friend that really reached out and acknowledged that maybe it was time for me to get off the couch, it was my running partner. She just really knows the real me and in a life that is so crazy and hectic and sometimes petty, it feels so lucky to have a friend that can see you.

DInner before NYC '06

Living in Connecticut now, I am a part of a running team that I love. The team means so much to me. These women are the most understanding, supportive, strong bad ass ladies that I could imagine (more on the team at another time). In this group I have found two more women to train with and I just adore them both. When I found out about my stress fracture a few weeks ago I was devastated. Maybe I wasn't so sad to miss the road trip to New Jersey for the marathon, but in my heart I was so sad to miss the race with my incredible running partner.

Both of my CT running partners are pretty fucking special. These women are hilarious, disgusting, and fast. They make me smile just by showing up. We don't always run as a threesome, but in my time logging miles with these ladies I can say that they are both awesome. My first running partner trained with me right up to several half-marathons and a full in Savannah. This girl isn't really just my training partner, she's one of my best friends. She is hilarious- she hits the road with some good stories and she never quits. She will rally through the worst hangovers, stomach issues, babysitting problems....

Just icing my ass....

my second running partner only knows me because she beat me at a local 5k. This girl came out of nowhere! It was a moment that showed the world that I might be the hometown Mary Decker, but it was also the beginning of a great story. I love this woman. Training with her has made me a better runner- she is consistent and strong and a little powerhouse. Missing our race in Jersey next week makes me feel terrible, but mostly because I just love running with this gal.

I miss running with this lady!

I think women are incredible. I am a serious 'girls girl', even though my house is full of testosterone, I am straight up Girl Power 24/7, but I think women are weak at supporting each other. I think there's a lot of bored moms in the suburbs and some women seem to need to tear each other down, to really get on up. A bond that starts with a passion-- the friendship that develops when you're both passionate about a hobby, is very real. It goes beyond gossip and carpools, it's more important than a lunch buddy or a drinking partner. It means too much because there's a common goal. I think this is where we find our true friends. We find these women to build up and empower because we share something we love. I don't know if it's knitting or reading, wine drinking or cooking-- but I wish for all my friends and all the women I know, I wish these kinds of friendships for them and I wish them this kind of passion too.